Welcome to Jordan's China Blog!

Bangkok was one of the most amazing and interesting cities I have ever been to. I arrived early afternoon and had quite a bit of time to wonder around before my buddy Alex got in at 10pm. We booked a place about a 5 minute walk away from Kao San Road, one of the most famous places in Bangkok where the streets are lined with thousands of food stands, bars and thousands of people trying to sell you things. I was wondering around killing time and I met a cool dude, Martin, from The Netherlands, so we got some pad thai and sat down and people watched for about 2 hours. Thousands and thousands of people are just walking by from all over the world.. some of the most interesting people I’ve seen. We had a couple of beers when we noticed a guy sitting behind us that was sharing a bag a grasshoppers with his girlfriend. He soon noticed that we were amazed by his little snack and offered us some. Well obviously I couldn't turn something like that down and neither could Martin. So we gave the guy a cheers and took his advice on not to eat the legs or head. Basically it just tasted like thin, hollow beef jerky. On Kao San Road there are a few vendors that have bug wagons, you can try many things like mealworms, scorpions, silk worms and cockroaches. Well after our snack we met some goofy girls from Canada and the conversation led to trying some bugs. Martin really wanted to try a cockroach, I agreed, but it took a little bit to convince the girls. So we promised each other no throwing up and we ate some cockroaches… cockroaches that were very mushy on the inside.

Grasshoppers with Martin in Bangkok

Well I said goodbye and met up with Alex at the hostel. It was really good to see him, as we haven’t seen each other in two years. He’s currently working in Hong Kong and I plan on visiting him in the next to months. We had a good night out but had to get up early the next day. We met up with Alex’s uncle for lunch, rode the sky train and showed us around Bangkok. We could only hung around for the afternoon because we were catching a night bus down to Railay Beach. Overnight buses are a pretty good decision, even though they are uncomfortable, it's pretty cool when you can wake up the next morning and you’re at your destination. Railay was a nice retreat, a long strip of beach and crystal clear water surrounded by high cliffs. The beach was divided into two sections by a large stack of rocks, allowing you to cross only when the tide was low. The last day we were there, Alex and I went sea kayaking and tied up to various rock islands for some swimming and exploring. The sun is extremely powerful in Thailand so we had to constantly apply our sunscreen. Alex had to leave that afternoon so we left Railay together and I headed to Koh Phan Nygan a hot-spot island for great beaches, good diving and the famous full rave parties that it hosts every month.

Railay Beach

Now this place was nuts, every night, seriously is like a full-on Friday night party. This place is famous for their “buckets” of mixed drinks that make you feel awesome that night but unfortunate the next morning. Well I was really excited to get some diving done so I signed up for an all-day scuba trip the next day starting at 7am. I was pumped until I went to bed at 530. Let me give some advice… never ever ever go scuba-diving when you’re hung-over… I spent 8 hours rocking back and forth on a two story boat and had to make it through 3 dives. The first dive went alright and to my luck they served us some spicy meat and rice for l sarcasm unch, thats... My tummy didn’t like that so much. So I tried to take a little nap before the next dive. I quickly awoke to my food coming back up and I raced to the edge of the boat and did the deed. Everyone thought this was pretty amusing, I however did not… I got in the water again, made it though the second dive, came out and of course, did the deed again. My buddy gave me some stomach tablets and after I took them I said, “These aren’t ginger are they…” (I HATE GINGER just so you know) and sure enough they were! So my deed went from spicy meat flavor to neon yellow for the next two hours. So friends… take my advice and stay away from the boozes before diving. But anyways, awesome diving though… colorful fish and coral covering massive rock structures. No sharks though… bummer…

Sea urchin

I decided to spend my last day on a peaceful beach on the north side of the island, Bottle Beach. I went up there with an American dude from Washington teaching in Korea. He was on holiday as well. Bottle beach is in a little cove and absolutely peaceful. We good a cool place right on the water for about $3 each. From this day on, I had one more week of holiday left, so it was time to catch a train south to Malaysia.

Well that sure went fast. I swear just yesterday I was at Beijing airport waiting for my flight to the Philippines (my first destination on holiday). As many of you already know I decided to take this month off to travel by myself, with plans to meet up with a buddy from Hong Kong for a few days. I've never planned and taken a trip completely by myself, but after this experience, I would highly recommend it and certainly do it again. I was able to meet and travel with some really cool people from all over the world, some of them I know for sure that I will stay in-touch with. Alright well lets talk about the holiday.

I arrived in Manila the capital of the Philippines Jan 30th. That was pretty nice leaving China's winter and landing where it's 83F at night. I didn't hang around Manila very long, I was pretty anxious to get to the water and brush up on my scuba diving. I met a really cool Korean dude with an Australian accent named Minza who was headed the same way as me the next day so we left the hostel early the next morning and caught a bus down to the city of Batangas, a hub to take a ferry to the island of Mindoro. We stopped in Sabang a pretty good spot for diving and unfortunately, for old nasty white guys looking for Philippine girls. I think I was the youngest foreigner in that part for sure. The diving was pretty good in Sabang though! I did a fun dive around some sunken wooden boats in the bay and that was pretty cool because they are now covered in marine life. I saw my first sea turtle too and it was absolutely massive! They are so swift and beautiful in the water and within seconds it disappeared from my sight. Another dive I did was at Shark Cave. I've always wanted to see sharks when diving because they are my #1 FEAR!!! Little did I know that the only shark I would see would be 3 ft long sitting in the back of a cave... being boring... But, at 107 ft down... it was still a really cool dive. I stayed in Sabang with Minza for about 4 days then headed back to Manila because I had to catch a domestic flight to the island of Palawan. Now... ya see... I had this huge extravagant travel plan for the Philippines... covering almost all the sweet dive spots and ferrying between the islands... but it just wasn't that easy... I couldn't really find a reliable ferry source... so my best bet was flying, which is actually pretty cheap domestically. Now Palawan... is a long strip of island with one booty-smacking road from one end to the other and the whole interior of the island is nothing but jungle. I was headed to another place actually called Sabang and I liked this one a lot better. I stayed at a really cool place owned by nice Philippine lady, Lorena, in the middle of a fishing village. She really did a lot for me and treated me like I was a part of her family. I had planned on staying there for 2 days... and ended up staying for 8.

Massive Sea Turtle

Lorena's electricity was ran by a really old diesel generator... like dangerously old... and of course the 2nd night I was staying there I was put in charge of starting it. That same night the throttle got stuck and it started smoking like crazy with sparks flying everywhere! I don't think I've ever ran that fast before in my life... I thought the thing was going to blow up. So we just went without power for the rest of my time there. I had a pretty good deal, I would help Lorena around her place and she would let me stay there for $2 a day with all the food (mostly seafood!) I could eat. Staying there felt like real living to me. Every night I would make a big fire and we would all eat together right next to the sea under the stars. Every day I would play with Nini, a 12 year old girl that Lorena took under her care. Nini ran away from home a long time ago because her mother would abuse her, so now she helps Lorena and in return Lorena gives her a place to stay. I went out fishing a couple times with a fisherman named Roy that lived next door. Roy has 8 children... so he does quite a bit of fishing to feed his family! Roy and I went out at 7 am in a little banana kind of boat holding fishing lines in our hands with a small hook and weight attached. When you feel a fish, you just pull it up with your hands, which was pretty interesting. We mostly caught bushugo, an orange fish around 5-9 inches long, but Roy showed me up and caught 3 squid within the first 10 minutes we were on the water. When we didn't catch bushugo, we would catch butiti, a small little puffer fish the size of your finger and completely useless because you cant eat them and they steal your bait. The fisherman have a joke and call them "minus 10" because its like getting minus 10 points when you catch one! Roy's son liked to slam them on the boat when he caught them Just as we were about to head in, I got a big bite and reeled in a trigger fish! Roy took it off the hook because these fish have a parrot-like beak that is pretty powerful. I have a funny trigger fish story for you later...

The day's catch- Bushugo and a Trigger Fish

The only other people that were staying at Lorena's were 2 middle aged guys, Julio and Javier, from the Canary Islands who I became pretty good friends with. Honestly... they were some of the coolest gay guys I've ever met and definitely provided good company. One day we were at the beach, I was walking along and out of the corner of my eye I saw something crawling in the sand. I came closer and realized it was a baby sea turtle that was stuck on its back. I showed Javier and Julio and we quickly put it in the water. We went back to our spot and found 5 more little turtles trying to make their way to the water too! So for the next half our I was on turtle patrol taking little turtles to the water and shooing away hungry dogs. I unfortunately didn't have my camera but Javier promised to send the pictures when they get back to the Canaries.

The Village Kids

My last day in the village I went on a really awesome hike with Tatoy, Roy's oldest son. He took me on a really cool hike through the jungle to a HUGE cave opening, a secret entrance to the beginning of The Underground River, a famous landmark in the Philippines. It made the hair on the back of my neck stand up, standing on the edge of this huge rock hole that went hundreds of feet down. It was so awesome, you would throw a rock into the darkness wait and listen very quietly, then about 6 seconds later you could hear a tiny splash from the stone landing in the river. It was just one of those times when pictures cannot even describe the experience.
It was a sad day leaving Sabang. After staying 8 days, I had made quite a few local friends, let me tell you something, make one funny face 1 kid.. and 5 more want you to teach them how. Haha! But I said my goodbyes, got some contact information and flew back to Manila. I stayed in Manila once again over night and I was off to Thailand the next day.

Yes I know.... it's been awhile... New Years was awesome! All of the classes have a little party in their homerooms and I got invited to one of my favorite classes. Sam and I normally don't let the students take pictures of us (because then they bring their cameras to class!) but I walked into Class 16 and everyone screams "MR JORDAN!!!" and everyone has a camera and starts taking pictures of me!! hahaha It was really funny. The party had 2 "hosts" a boy and a girl, announcing skits that students were performing. A couple girls sang, one played a Chinese flute, one of my boys (My Son) played the violin. Then they said "Mr Jordan, its your turn to sing a song" HA! Well with 70 students anxiously waiting, I can't really say no. So I go up to podium desperately trying to figure out what song I can sing. This is how it went...
My students: "Can you sing a Chinese song?"
Me: "Ummm I don't think I know any...."
My students: "Can you sing Michael Jackson?"
Me: "Ummm I don't think I know any Michael Jackson...."
So... I ended up singing The Backstreet Boys!!! I'm praying to myself... don't let your voice crack.... don't let your voice crack.... and guess what... it cracked...
But it didn't really matter my students loved it anyway! haha (Thank goodness)

New Years Party

Oh... You want to know some of my students English names? These are some good ones.

-Banana
-UFO
-Mei Mao (which means eyebrow in Chinese, this kid can move each of his eyebrows up and down and will do it during the whole entire class period. He looks at me, does it and I always can't help but burst out laughing)
-Monkey
-Tiao Pi (which means naughty in Chinese)
-Donkey
-Turkey (She named herself this after we had a class on Thanksgiving)
-My Son (This boy thinks I'm his father, but unfortunately, DNA tests proved negative)
-Superman
-Mr. Underwear
-Michael Jackson
-Pa Ho Ra
-Super Ox
-Rainy
-Harry James Potter
-Benz Fu
-Me Me Me Me (I named him this because whenever I ask the class a question or need a volunteer, he always jumps up, raises his hand and says Me! Me! Me! Me!

So those are just a few... Oh! I have a new addition to my classroom! I found to old broken down chairs in my class, so I painted them red and they are now my Tiao Pi chairs! (naughty chairs) When a student is naughty in my class of Sam's, we make them sit in the the chairs!! It is absolutely hilarious. Sam will drag one of her students in and they just look at the chair like.... "Are you serious?" hahaha But, thats what you get when your naughty!

IMG_2417

Oh hey and check this out. All the teachers and staff put on a New Years Program where groups of teachers sing songs or dance. So of course we (foreign teachers) had to put on a dance skit. So we decided to do the Cha Cha Slide. (Its a really easy song that tells you all the dance moves in the song. "Slide to the left! Slide to the right! Criss-Cross!" you get the idea) Well we had the dance down and I gave the song to The Donger to give to the sound guy. Well we go up to the stage, wearing sunglasses, the song starts.... but its all fuzzy and scratchy! The beat sounds fine but we cant understand what the song is saying!!!!!! So we have no clue what the dance moves are!!! So picture 5 foreign teachers... dancing around like idiots, wearing sunglasses, because we have no clue what the song is saying. We get back to our seats and The Donger says... "That was... interesting...." But I of course explained that something must have gone wrong with the copy. Note to self: Check it ahead of time.

Ben, Julie and I went to Beijing that night and came back the next day. We got in pretty late and walked into a club on number 7 of the countdown. We quickly made some Chinese friends through the art of dance and had some drinks with them. We also ran into some aussies and ended the night at a pretty chill bar in the San Li Tun district, where a lot of foreigners stay.

I have been keeping very busy lately. I am the only foreign teacher at the foreign school right now so between the middle school and there, I teach 7 days a week. A lot of you know about my big trip coming up. I have a pretty good outline now. January 30th I fly from Beijing to Manila, Philippines, then on Feb 12th I fly to Bangkok, Thailand to meet a buddy. I'll be in Thailand for a week or so, then head into Malaysia. From there I will fly back to China. I'm so excited for this trip but I will be traveling by myself for most of the time. This will be the one of the biggest adventures that I've gone on. 1 straight month of living out of a backpack. I plan on doing quite a bit of scuba diving, hiking and maybe even some surfing.

Here's some fun things I've learned and seen

-A policeman taking a pee on the sidewalk
-Babies have slits in their pants so whenever they have to poop, their parents just hold them out and they go on the spot. Seriously anywhere....
-ANYTHING is biodegradable to a Chinese person, meaning... throw your trash on the ground. Really makes me sad.
-Chances are.... unless your in a really really nice place... there's no soap or toilet paper in the bathrooms. Always be prepared... I learned the hard way.
-At clubs, Chinese men dance on each other in an extremely homosexual way.
-You how Americans have a joke that Asians cant drive... yeah thats true.... except for taxi drivers, they are the freakin best drivers ever.
-Just because there's lanes on the road, doesn't mean you have to stay in them.
-After working out, Chinese men take a shower in the locker room. Then will stand on the bench completely naked, smoking a cigarette in one hand and texting with the other. I was trying to get my clothes out of my locker and I swear this guys piece was 2 feet away from my face.
-This past week I lost all water pressure. So I shower on 2nd floor and poop on 3rd.
-There are people on bikes.... everywhere... all the time.
-All Chinese kids love Michael Jackson and computer games.
-We go to the same places everyday and still get stared at like we're aliens just because we're foreigners.
-Painting your fingernails is "Bad for health"
-Drinking hot water will cure anything
-The KFC's here have delivery bicycles
-Its totally cool to poop, throw up or pee anywhere.
-People talk so freaking loud on cell phones.
-Watching a Chinese boyfriend and girlfriend flirting is hilarious. (Feeding each other, sitting on each others laps, playing little finger games... )
-Little Chinese kids are mind boggled by arm-hair and facial hair!!! There's always this one boy that tries to feel my arms when I'm walking around the class and reading aloud.

There's way more to come thats just a few things.

Well the Christmas season came and went. I have to say that I had a really good one. Its hard to explain, Christmas isn't an official "holiday" in China but they still acknowledge it. Major shopping centers have big decorated trees in front of them and restaurants have little cut out Santas hanging in the windows. In some places the staff even wears Santa hats! It is tradition to give a wrapped apple as a gift to friends, family or teachers. It's literally just an ordinary apple wrapped in nice paper but... I felt really special when one of my students gave me one!

My Christmas apple!

On December 22nd, Shijiazhuang's foreign affairs office hosted a big Christmas dinner and program at a hotel for all the foreign teachers in the city. Each school was asked to put on a little skit or sing a song so we decided to sing the 12 Days of Christmas. One of the teachers at our school (Amanda) was asked to give an opening speech for the program, so we get there and sit at our assigned table. But then the Donger (Mr. Dong) says "Jordan, Amanda, you will not be sitting with us". So we're both like... "ok... where are we sitting then?" The Donger says "You will be sitting with the Vice Mayor of the city and the director of foreign affairs, ok?" Haha! ok!! So Amanda and I sat right in front at a table with nobody that spoke English. Haha! I have to say it was an interesting dinner.. pretty quiet! But the program was really cool, we even made signs to hold up for each day with a picture of a partridge or maids milking blah blah. Everyone started to sing-a-long so that made it fun. Oh and there was a drawing at the end and guess what I won? Towels. awesome.......

On Christmas Eve we had to sing the 12 Days of Christmas AGAIN at another program. This program was put on by a newspaper here in the Shiz. This program was a little more intense, they had hosts and hostesses and we were the only foreigners. The program consisted of dancers and really good singers. So we got called up to the stage and after our song the lady was asking us questions, where we were from, what school we teach at, and Johnny was translating for us. Then she asked what the meanings were behind each day and gift for the 12 days of Christmas. We're all just like... ummmmm...... and it was really quiet... so we gave the mic to Amanda and said to just make up something. Hahaha it was extremely awkward but hilarious at the same time. After the program we went to a club to see some of our Russian friends perform. Our buddy Jake hooked them up with a Christmas job singing Britney Spears and Shakira. It was pretty cool! But also made it a late night. On Christmas Day everyone was pretty tired but still excited. We did not end up going to church because there are not any english services in this city, which was a big bummer. But we went for a really nice lunch buffet at an international hotel, just like we did for Thanksgiving only at a different place. That night I was having a little Christmas party and secret santa at my apartment so the day before I went out and spent like 200 yuan on decorations and cookies haha oops... (Its not Christmas without cookies) So everyone took a rest during the day and that night came over and ate cookies, watched a movie and played Catch Phrase! I have to say the secret santa was tight... Julie got a toilet seat, Steph got red lacy gloves and I got 2 cans of Sardines from Lizzie! (Which I ate of course) I did get a few gifts from home too! The parents sent a package and I got some AWESOME Family Guy pajama pants with little Stewies all over them! My Dad has the same pair too! Cannot wait to be cute little twins with him haha! I also got bottles of wine for Lizzie, Sam/Andre and Laura and gave Johnny a case of Tsingtao beer. I think he really liked that. After the party I got up at 5am to talk to my family. The parents have a camera so it was really good to see everyone, especially my grandparents. I was supposed to watch a live New Apostolic Church Christmas service, but China was nice enough to block that website for me.

Opening gifts

The day after Christmas, my buddy Bence (Hungarian) invited Laura and I to come over to his friend Andy's apartment for a meal that he was cooking. (Turkey, Lasagna, baked broccoli/cauliflower with cheese, baked potatoes and a Hungarian chocolate cake) First of all you have to special order half of those ingredients here because this city doesn't really have a high demand for those kinds of things AND no one has an oven. China doesn't really have ovens because the food is pretty much all fried. But... Andy has a little custom oven. Andy is from L.A. and has been in China for 4 years. I think he is doing alright... it was the nicest apartment that I've been to in China and his MAID was pretty friendly too! Well I have to tell you this meal that Bence made was absolutely amazing. He prepared 2 whole turkeys, hand made the noodles for the lasagna and the Hungarian spices made everything awesome! It was real treat because we don't really get the chance to eat those kids of things.

I hope that everyone had a good Holiday season. Thank you for all the good greetings. Now its on to New Years...

On Monday of last week I get a call from my boss (Mr. Dong aka "The Donger") and he told me that I would not have class on Thursday or Friday because my students were taking exams. I was shocked because in China they usually wouldn't tell you such a thing until the day of! I thought to myself... A long weekend? I gotta get out of this city! So I emailed some friends from Drake way down south in Guilin and told them I was thinking about coming down for a visit and they said of course! I didn't even have to worry about a hostel or anything because they said they had room for me there. So Johnny helped me purchase a train ticket and I left the Shiz on wed afternoon for my 25 HOUR TRAIN RIDE down to Guilin. And of course I sat right next to Snorey McSnorerson on the train... I didn't sleep much that night. Well I got in around 2pm and was absolutely starving because I of course forgot my bag of food for the train. I grabbed some food and walked around while I waited for my buddy Tyler to come meet me. Guilin is absolutely beautiful, the city is surrounded by huge rock peaks made of limestone. The air is a lot fresher there and there are trees everywhere! It was a nice change of scenery I must say... And, Guilin only has about 800,000 people, compared to the 7 Million we have in the Shiz.

Well, to my surprise Tyler rides up on a gas operated moped and says "Hey dude! Hop on!" which was totally cool and for the next half hour showed me around the university that they work at. We went to Shan Lake, a park downtown, walked around and caught up. That night we all got together and went out to dinner with two of their Chinese friends.

Sun and Moon Pagodas at Shan Lake

The next day, Friday, everyone still had to teach so I took the bus from campus to Fobu park and walked around. The park charges admission so Tyler let me borrow his teacher's ID and I got in for a discount. The park was really beautiful, but pretty touristy. I climbed quite a bit of stairs up to the very top of a smaller mountain and got a good look of the whole city. Guilin is divided by the Li River and the water is actually pretty clear! Tyler said they like to go swimming in the summer because it gets SUPER hot there! I came back for lunch and some of the guys took me to a really good Muslim place. (Noodles and green peppers) It was very delicious and pretty cheap. (6 yuan=.90 cents) I was staying in Guilin till Sunday afternoon and they told me that before I leave, I absolutely have to bus down to Yangshou, a touristy city about an 1.5 hours south. They said that you can rent a bike for the day and just ride on trails going though the countryside and mountains. Well later that day we found out that there was a festival going on down there, so Tyler, my buddy Phil and I bused down that night. They ran out of seats on the bus so we happily sat on plastic stools in the aisles, not to bad for 10 yuan though. We even got to watch an absolutely horrible Kung fu movie too! Yangshou was packed full of people for the festival and we got to see an amazing fireworks show that lasted for at least 45 minutes. Let me just tell you, You haven't seen real fireworks until you've come to China.

We stayed at a place called Monkey Jane's, while I was there I met Jane and I could see why she got her nickname. I won't go into the story about how I lost to her in beer pong by one cup... It was only 15 yuan a night to stay there. I woke up the next day, got down from my bunk bed and stepped on something.... I quickly lifted my foot and watched something scurry away and go under the dresser. Note to self... always check your shoes.... just in case. Well Tyler and Phil had to get back to Guilin so I rented my bike for the day and disappeared on some trails away from the city. The sun even came out too and I got to change into a pair of shorts and a t-shirt. This was one of my favorite things that I've done in China. Riding my bike along the road getting further and further into the countryside, surrounded by mountains. The air was fresh and it was getting quieter and quieter. I remember what my buddy Ry told me before I left, "If you see a dirt road, take it! You have to explore!" So I took his advice, I was going in and out of little villages, had no clue where I was, but didn't have a care in the world. The houses were all made of rough mud bricks and it was just simple countryside living. I even locked my bike and found some really cool foot trails that kept me busy for an hour. After biking for about 3.5 hours I started to head back to Yangshou. Turned my bike in and bussed back to Guilin.

A village in the mountains-Yangshou

That night Phil and my buddy Big Jordan showed me the nightlife. Guilin attracts a lot of foreigners, so it's pretty easy to strike up a conversation. After the clubs we stumbled around Guilin buying a combination of beer, santa hats and then some righteous noodles before we called it a night at 3:30am.

I woke up a little later on Sunday, Phil called and said "What do you want to do today?" Me- "I dunno" Phil- "Wanna climb a mountain?" Me- "Ok!!" So we walked about 15 minutes down the street, crossed the highway climbed a really cool peak up to the top. This was really sweet cause you have to go through a cave to get to the top! No trails, no stairs, just the way I like it. It sure was beautiful up there. You could see far into the countryside and Phil said sometimes you can even see the rice paddies. We stayed up there for about 45 min, then it was time to go. Packed my things, said my thank yous and good-byes, and hopped on the train. This time it was only 21 hours back to the Shiz and I got back 2 hours before class. Perfect!

Taking in the view-Guilin